1) Serve God not man
2) let it go
3) live every day with fervor and intention (purpose)
4) build my relationship with John
5) continue to minimize
08 January 2012
The New Year
You'd think as I approached my 50th birthday, this 49th year of my life, I would know all about everything... At least that is what I thought about my parents at this time in their lives. Boy, I wonder if they had me bamboozled or if they really knew...
I have figured out some things that I thought would never click. #1 I have got it mastered how to walk for exercise. I am a movie lover and if I watch a movie I have never seen, and only allow myself to watch when I walk, MOTIVATION!!! #2 I have learned how to get out of school at a reasonable time. I still have things to do that I need to do following school, but for the most part I get to leave when the 4:00 bell rings. #3 I don't freak out too much before school. I really have got a handle on how to teach. I don't panic when I am preparing. Panicking made me feel bad and was generally unproductive. I wanted to be the best teacher ever, but maybe I will just settle for being ok, making sure the kids love me just as I am and for accepting them for who they are and teaching them what I can in the meantime.
I have yet to figure out how to be the me I want to be ALL the time. I want to go to work in the morning and feel good about what I am doing, I want to sleep at night knowing that I did o.k. I want to be content. I am not quite sure I can figure out how to be true to Jesus and myself 24-7. I find at times that it will hit me after work or after several hours or a day or so that I did not even consider Him in my day. Maybe that is because I am listening to God all the time and doing what He says and acting how He directs... o.k., I am not, I am simply being a human and living a human life. It is demanding to focus on God 24-7, but that is what I want. That is what I was called to do. I just need to learn how to teach in a public school and to live in a secular society and live according to His ways and His plans and His calling.
I bet if I start my day in prayer and study... I know I have been called to do that and I have turned my back on God since He started to tell me that the best time would be in the morning. I just need to surrender my body to Him, to give up my desire to sleep in and rest my physical self. Oh how much of a blessing it would be!! I know it would be. I know it would be...sleep is not what it is cracked up to be. Well, for me it is because I am foggy headed when I am tired. Thyroid!! I just need to study in the p.m. or a.m. I think I will try in the p.m. and see how that works. Of course I will not know if a.m. is better, cuz if p.m. works, I will definitely NOT try a.m. : )
I have figured out some things that I thought would never click. #1 I have got it mastered how to walk for exercise. I am a movie lover and if I watch a movie I have never seen, and only allow myself to watch when I walk, MOTIVATION!!! #2 I have learned how to get out of school at a reasonable time. I still have things to do that I need to do following school, but for the most part I get to leave when the 4:00 bell rings. #3 I don't freak out too much before school. I really have got a handle on how to teach. I don't panic when I am preparing. Panicking made me feel bad and was generally unproductive. I wanted to be the best teacher ever, but maybe I will just settle for being ok, making sure the kids love me just as I am and for accepting them for who they are and teaching them what I can in the meantime.
I have yet to figure out how to be the me I want to be ALL the time. I want to go to work in the morning and feel good about what I am doing, I want to sleep at night knowing that I did o.k. I want to be content. I am not quite sure I can figure out how to be true to Jesus and myself 24-7. I find at times that it will hit me after work or after several hours or a day or so that I did not even consider Him in my day. Maybe that is because I am listening to God all the time and doing what He says and acting how He directs... o.k., I am not, I am simply being a human and living a human life. It is demanding to focus on God 24-7, but that is what I want. That is what I was called to do. I just need to learn how to teach in a public school and to live in a secular society and live according to His ways and His plans and His calling.
I bet if I start my day in prayer and study... I know I have been called to do that and I have turned my back on God since He started to tell me that the best time would be in the morning. I just need to surrender my body to Him, to give up my desire to sleep in and rest my physical self. Oh how much of a blessing it would be!! I know it would be. I know it would be...sleep is not what it is cracked up to be. Well, for me it is because I am foggy headed when I am tired. Thyroid!! I just need to study in the p.m. or a.m. I think I will try in the p.m. and see how that works. Of course I will not know if a.m. is better, cuz if p.m. works, I will definitely NOT try a.m. : )
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